ELLIE WILTSHIRE

I had been looking forward to seeing Jupiter Ascending since the first trailer was released in June last year. The trailer made it looked like everything I love about sci-fi and more. Stunning visuals, an epic adventure story, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen a sci-fi film I’d loved since Prometheus in 2012.

I decided not to see the bar high for Jupiter Ascending; I tried to be as open minded as possible and hoped that I would at least be surprised. Surprised I was, but for all the wrong reasons. Within 10 minutes, there it was. Everything you don’t want to see in a $175 million Hollywood Science Fiction film - bad green screen. I’ve seen better green screen in Doctor Who which has a pretty terrible reputation for special effects.

The plot was so ridiculous I could barely tell you what the movie is about. I was too distracted by the ridiculousness of the whole thing like the distracting whispering of virtually every line from Eddie Redmayne which would turn into a screeching yell in less than a second. Within the first 20 minutes Mila Kunis’ character Jupiter Jones has agreed to sell her eggs in order to buy a telescope? The question mark at the end is necessary; I actually had to remind myself if that really was part of the plot. Channing Tatum plays Caine, a half human, half wolf soldier who is sent to bring Jupiter to Eddie Redmayne’s character Balem, who believes he is next in line to inherit Earth and not Jupiter Jones who Balem’s mother, the matriarch, said would rule due to their resemblance. And then there’s Sean Bean who plays Stinger, Channing Tatum’s old friend, with a very fitting name due to the fact he’s also half bee.

Trying to describe the plot of this film is difficult, because it’s all over the place and I wish I could say ‘See for yourself, you may have a different taste to me’, but anyone who enjoys Jupiter Ascending must have been watching Star Wars instead, which it was trying its very best to be. The final 30 minutes just about saved this movie; there was an intense face-off between Kunis, Tatum and Redmayne. It seemed more was spent on the huge spectacular special effects, which of course is necessary, but no effort was gone into simpler things such as backgrounds of scene!

This film would just about scrape 5/10 from me; I don’t look forward to the next film I see where I’m waiting for it to end. Let’s hope it doesn’t ruin Eddie Redmayne’s Oscar chances.